ASK ROZ

Roz,
I have been able to make it in life. I consider myself blessed with a great job, a wonderful church home, a good husband and some very decent friends. However, I cannot seem to get close to anyone. Though my life seems to be okay, I don’t feel okay deep inside. I was sexually abused as a child and never told anyone. What do you think is going on with me?                 Anonymous

Getting Worried

Sexual abuse brings with it a variety of symptoms. These symptoms are the soul’s reaction to the pain, shame, trauma, and defilement that the sexual abuse produced within the one being abused. The soul is that part of human nature that allows it to function as a human being; the mind, will, and emotions. The mind, will and emotions become compromised and distorted by the act of sexual abuse. This attack on the body serves as an attack on the human soul and affects the spirit of the person.

Because we have been wonderfully and fearfully made by our God, the soul has the capacity to function. However, the functioning of the soul takes on a dys-functioning due to the impact of this trauma. It gears up to defend itself from the affects of the sexual abuse and from the possibility of further attack. These symptoms are the means by which the sexually abused person subconsciously takes on actions, attitudes, and thinking to protect themselves (self-protection). These self-protective modes, though some are effective for a season, do not have the ability to protect nor resolve the devastation of sexual abuse. They become counterfeits to true resolve, which is only found in turning ourselves and issues over to The One Who is The Healer. This healing/resolve, however, is a process, meaning that it is not an overnight deal.

Many sexually abused people do not recognize their actions, attitudes, or thinking as dysfunctional because they do not realize the true impact that the sexual abuse has had upon them. Many never tell another person that this has happened to them. Others, tell, and think that they are healed because they can talk about it, however never really resolve the complex issues or reactions that have subtlety become a part of their daily existence.

So many go on living life, but not at it’s fullest. Feeling pain but never understanding why nor resolving it. Cycling in and out of abusive relationships and/or avoiding relationships while not fully understanding that underlying their personality are symptoms at work bringing about distortions to whom they really are; that is, who God made them to be. Healing from sexual abuse is a necessity to begin removing symptoms that distort the sexually abused person’s perspective on life, relationships, even God.

Over the next months, Ask Roz will provide information to bring awareness as to the symptoms of sexual abuse and some ways to begin engaging in the process of healing.
 

Roz is a board certified pastoral counselor through the International Association of Pastoral Counselors and a professionally trained Christian counselor and holds a Master of Arts degree in Counseling from Regent University, one of the nation’s prominent Christian graduate schools.  She has served in various ministry leadership positions developing programs, directing the counseling process and providing personal ministry for individuals, couples, and families.

For more information, questions or counseling, please contact Rosalind M. Stanley @ rstanley@rozbog.com or 972-572-7213.  CLICK HERE to log on to Roz's website www.rozbog.com.